I secretly wish we were able to create the situations and circumstances surrounding when, where, and how we meet “the one.” I mean, after 30 years of being with myself, I have a pretty good idea of what I want and need in a significant other. Right? Probably not.
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve learned to identify the personalities that don’t mesh with mine. It’s true that some people just won’t ever get along, no matter how hard each party tries. Why? Because there are things about us that will never change.
With me, I know that I can only go so many days without working or doing something productive. My father recently reminded me of this during one of our conversations. Apparently, I had been complaining about how tired and inundated with work I was not too long ago. Now, with countries around the world combating the spread of coronavirus, my work has reduced significantly. As such, I have unexpectedly received much needed time to relax and recuperate.
Now, most people would probably welcome the break with arms wide open, right? Right! Not me. I mean, I spent the first 2-3 days in my home enjoying my own company and doing absolutely nothing. However, it’s now day six; I’m sick of not working.
What was the point of that tangent? Simply to say that, no matter how hard I try to change certain aspects of my character and personality, I know who I am and the things about myself that remain the same. With that, as much as I’d love to write my own love story, I really don’t have a firm handle on love and relationships to be able to do it well.
If things were left up to me, I would meet my future spouse while travelling abroad somewhere. I’d be carrying on with my schedule for that day, going from one client appointment to another. In a brief moment of providence, he’d see me walking briskly through the crowd and everything in his world would stop. By happenstance, he’d find out that we had some mutual acquaintances in the city and ask them to introduce us. When we met for the first time, I wouldn’t be particularly impressed and wouldn’t want to know him as anything more than a friend. After some time getting to know each other, he’d finally take the plunge and divulge his true feelings. (Naturally, by this time, I would’ve already developed feelings for him.) From that moment on, our relationship would shift to being more intentional to see if we are God’s best for each other.
Alas, this is but a dream. Back to reality, I continue living my life. I don’t spend much time fanatisizing about this mystery man and how we’ll meet. No, thoughts of him only awaken in moments when I need to remind myself that he is out there somewhere waiting for me. Although I long to be a wife and mother, I don’t know if I’d want to write my love story. There’s beauty in the mystery of not knowing how things will unfold.
What if he and I have already met? What if we totally missed each other years ago because neither of us were ready? What if the next time we meet there’ll be fireworks, a string orchestra, and the works? I like not knowing because I’m not living for a particular moment or waiting for a specific sign.
Fellow Navigator, there is great temptation in wanting to write your love story and know exactly when the love of your life is going to show up. Is this something you struggle with? Do you find yourself anxiously wanting to know when it’s going to happen? Tell me about it!